Uni dating: romantic bliss or mega disaster?
Sure dating someone at Uni sounds fun.
A semester full of risky makeout sessions in the tiny library Audio Visual Rooms sounds dangerous and sexy. Study dates at each other’s houses that end in you sleeping over sounds amazing. And shuttle bus rides home together where you only communicate in in-jokes sounds like the perfect end to a day filled with boring lectures. It seems like bliss.
Now, I’m not a pessimist…usually. But let’s think about what would happen when everything goes pear-shaped.
Here’s a scenario for you.
You are sitting across from your now ex uni boyfriend/girlfriend in a tutorial and your tutor thinks its a brilliant idea to assign you to the same group for a project which you have five weeks to complete. Dread settles in your stomach and you feel like crying and throwing up at the same time.
Not such a great idea now huh?
Think about it. Imagine trying to sustain some sort of semblance of a normal conversation with your ex while you are at a study meeting with your group when you have seen them naked. When you know what their sex-face looks like and how crazy their Auntie Mabel is. When you know the embarrassing nicknames their parents have for them and their bad dance moves.
When you have a relationship with someone you are privy to the most intimate details of their life. And this knowledge is what makes a relationship so amazing and special. But it is the exact thing that makes a breakup awkward.
When two people break up you are expected to act like you have forgotten all this information (but everyone still carries it in their memory for some time) and try and distance yourself from them, in both a physical and emotional context. But Uni just fucks all that up.
So kids, if you must date someone from Uni please pick someone in a different course.
I think for the first time this semester, I am going to have to agree with my female counterpart!
Dating someone at Uni, definitely sounds appealing and fun (particularly if you do it secretly) but can open you up to some serious pitfalls in your uni life.
Let’s start with when you are actually in the relationship.
The timetable: the moment that you meet that special someone and realize that you can cram both going to class and having fun in the same sentence you will start trying to organize to go to the same classes as your partner so that you can spend more time with them. This can pose a problem as what suits one person, may not suit the other and it is important to only make sacrifices that you can afford to make. Don’t go rescheduling work so you can stay for the 5pm design class just so you can make out in the car afterwards!
The friends: if other courses in UWS are in any way similar to mine, you will find that your course is either dominated by guys or girls. Jealousy is an easy reaction when your girlfriend wants to meet up with some other guy to study ‘anatomy’.
Then if you two do decide that you’re not meant for each other and you want other things, uni will compound your heartbreak especially when you have to walk to your car by yourself after an otherwise pointless design class having to then sit in 5pm traffic!
In my experience, I would say don’t do it. If you really do find the right person at UWS, play it smart and try to establish the relationship away from Uni instead.